The waiting is the hardest part

Today I noticed a story about a crazy person. This man has been in line for the opening of the first Ikea store in Atlanta for a week. Naturally this guy is unemployed. What’s funny, OK, it’s all funny, is that there isn’t any guarantee that he’s going to get special prizes for being the first person in the store.

Line-waiting is kind of a lost art. It used to matter if you stood in line for a week for Stones tickets. Now you buy them online and pay as a service charge what you paid for four seats in the second row in 1968. People stand in line for Titans’ single-game tickets at the Coliseum box office even though the line-standers only get a very small percentage of the tickets because of online buyers.

Tonight’s NBA draft coincides with President Bush’s national address on Iraq. I have to say that Andrew Bogut’s agent did a much better sales job with the Milwaukee Bucks than Mr. Bush did on the war.

Yes, the White Sox lost two of three to the Cubs. I’m already over it. I was annoyed that I forgot to start Mark Prior when he made the South Side squad look like hitless wonders. In tonight’s 2-1 win over Detroit, the White Sox had six hits. Every Sox losing streak to date has ended with a winning streak.

Geeks unite

How come I 'get' guys collecting sports jerseys, but I don't 'get' guys collecting sneakers, kicks, shoes? Maybe I've watched too many episodes of Sex and the City.

ESPN 2 focuses today on shoes, including a 'shoe bracket'. My athletic shoe purchasing requirements used to be price, then feel, then look. Yes, I'm a cheapskate who once purchased a replica Kellen Winslow powder blue Chargers jersey on ebay for nearly $100. I'm aware that the Chargers never wore the powder blue jersey while Kellen Winslow played there. It's pretty. Also he went to my alma mater, the University of Missouri. As far as I'm concerned, he has no son.

We're all geeks of some order. I work with people who are perfectly content arguing with complete strangers on a message board about why Peyton Manning should or should not be a number-one overall fantasy football draft pick. At my 'real' job one of my co-workers is about to retire and looks forward to spending more time quilting. Another co-worker breeds cats on the side. She takes the cats to shows almost every weekend and the ribbons that they win are a big deal to her. I'm just getting used to the idea of changing the litterbox.

When my wife wants to threaten me, in a joking manner or otherwise, what's the first prized possession of mine on the chopping block? Either my DVD collection or my jersey collection. While I probably could do without the Doug Christe jersey that my so-called friends made me wear at my bachelor party, I might get somewhat emotional if my Frank Thomas or Steve McNair jerseys were at risk. I even bought my wife a jersey, thinking that initiating her into the club would make my collection more safe. So far I've been unscathed.

In today's series finale the White Sox are nine outs away from going 9-0 against the Royals this year. I think that's ten games to go. Excellent. All five Sox runs today have scored with two outs. It's going to be sweet to get that 50th win against the Cubs this weekend. The winning streak is great but they need to step up against a crowd that will be packed with blue-clad Cubbers. Its' better than the usual site of empty blue seats.

My wedding weekend

Here's a brief recap of my weekend. At 3 p.m. on Friday Alison and I headed out of town. So did half of Atlanta, apparently. We hit traffic early and often. Note to weekend travelers: Leave at noon.

Two days after finding out that I have borderline high cholesterol I went to my in-laws and had a nice dinner of steak, steak, butter with some potatoes, two bites of salad, two dinner rolls the size of my fist, and a 1,000-calorie piece of peanut butter pie. It might be time for Alison to increase my life insurance.

On Saturday we drove to Lexington, spent about 15 minutes getting changed for the wedding, slipped into Applebees and wolfed down an appetizer platter in ten minutes and headed to the wedding site.

Alison worked with the groom at a TV station in Lexington. I think everyone who worked for that station in the past ten years showed up to the wedding. This proves one of two things to me. Either this is one heckuva guy, or media people can't turn down an open bar.

The wedding site was the Gladie Historic Site in the Red River Gorge, which is about an hour from Lexington. Basically we got dressed up to attend a wedding in the woods. The couple are avid climbers so they literally tied the knot. That's solid symbolism, because when you tie a knot, you want the sucker to stay tied.

At the reception the bluegrass band was perfect for the setting but not so good for dancing. The receptionists drank something called Wildcat Tea that looked like Windex. I had Newcastle. It's my favorite beer but ever since beer purists told me that clear bottles are bad for beer, especially the imported kind, I've been torn. Another problem is my favorite high-dollar beer is Samuel Smith's Nut Brown Ale and that's also in a clear bottle. The Beer Gods are against me!

Anyway, after about six hours in the car and a hideous book on tape (Patricia Cornwell's Southern Cross), we were home. I was able to watch the White Sox on TV for the second time all year. The ump (and Hee Seop Choi) may have helped a bit on the Scott Podsednik sacrifice, but a rally is a rally. It's nice to watch 'your' team and be confident that a rally is imminent.

I like the sequence of walk, sacrifice/error, sacrifice, then single to bring in the runs. The team's third in the AL in homers but can win in many different ways. Even with 94 games to go, I'm feeling good about the playoffs.

Don't cry for me, Daunte Culpepper

It's official. The AUFL just voted to go redraft in 2005. That means my keepers of Daunte Culpepper, Ahman Green, and Torry Holt are going back into the draft pool. I feel like I'm losing family members. I had Ahman Green on my roster since the initial redraft in 2001 and traded for Culpepper and Holt during the 2001-2002 offseason. The first year of keepers we had four, and most owners opted to keep two running backs. The following year we dropped the keepers to three, with one per position.

I traded for Culpepper at the perfect moment. Pepper had 4400 total yards and 40 touchdowns in 2000. He went #4 in the 2001 redraft. In 2001 he had 19 total touchdowns. I traded a first-round pick and Plaxico Burress for Culpepper. Daunte averaged 33 touchdowns in the three years I had him on my roster.

I also traded for Holt, and I'm not sure how I pulled off Eddie George and Torry Holt for Curtis Martin. Oh yeah, George went from nearly 2000 total yards and 16 touchdowns in the 2000 season to 1200 total yards and 5 touchdowns in 2001. He was only slightly better in 2002 but TD inflation worked in my favor. Holt had 302 catches and 26 touchdowns in three years of loyal service.

Somehow I don't think that I'll get these guys in rounds one through three. Average draft position, according to www.antsports.com, is 2.11 for Holt, 2.04 for Culpepper, and 2.01 for Ahman Green. I suppose I could trade my first-round pick and get a second and a third. Somehow I doubt that anyone will be that drunk when the draft begins.

18 runs in two games? The White Sox have resembled their 2004 squad the past two days. Contreras and El Duque pitched some solid batting practice. The Sox haven't been swept yet this year, and hopefully Guillen won't use his series-ending 'getaway day' lineup when it's the middle of a long homestand.

Post weekend blog

Retirement is out! According to my physical therapist I'm in week six of an eight-week recovery from some muscle and joint problems in my back. Now that I'm in my fourth decade, there will be times when I'm exercising and my body's going to say "I'd much rather be on a rocking chair."

The White Sox took two out of three from the Padres. I even had my dad do some play-by-play when I was on the phone with him yesterday. In the eighth, the Sox had men on second and third, no outs, and only scored one run (on a walk), but they still pulled out the win with a three-run jack by Aaron Rowand in the 10th inning. I'm still nervous about the Twins.

My wife has been really busy with work, so I'm sure that she will not notice that I'm drafting in two fantasy leagues this week. Since I'm an official fantasy-football staff writer, I have to act like the season's starting in two days. I know it's important to get magazines out early, but a serious drafter would have to be insane to read them for reasons other than entertainment value.

Boring my three readers with soccer talk again

I wanted to write about the U.S./Panama World Cup qualifier, but it was a 3-0 snooze-fest. Other than a sequence in which Kasey Keller dove left to stop a header, then crouched to his right to stop the rebound, then jumped in the air to grab the third shot, there wasn't much to see. People may joke about a road trip to Milwaukee being tough, but try Panama City for size. The announcers said that the capacity crowd was making 100 decibel noise two hours before kickoff.

Crazy random World Cup qualifier information. Kuwait advanced in the Asia (more like Middle East/Asia) group over China. Population of China is 1.3 billion. Population of Kuwait is 2.3 million. There have been approximately three times as many people born in China this year as live in Kuwait.

It's kind of like the equivalent of the U.S. soccer team losing to a team made up of the survivors from the island in Lost.

This might be the best road trip to follow the Sox all year. They finished a three-game sweep in Colorado and head to San Diego starting this evening. The Rocky Mountains followed by the city that's always 72 degrees?

After this road trip the Sox will have a 12-game homestand. It's time to get some distance between first and second place in the Central.

It's the Red Sox versus the Cubs this weekend. Peter Gammons's head might explode. A lot of hype surrounds this series, and that's fine. At least it's not Red Sox/Yankees again.

A completely different playing field

The MLB draft concluded yesterday. While the NFL televises its draft and dozens of 'experts' pop out of the woodwork, very few people know the top MLB prospects. The NFL draft is televised and representatives of each franchise are present. MLB does the draft via conference call. They actually had to delay the draft because the Yankees were late.

Teams can't trade draft picks in MLB, and unlike the NFL, the money a player gets isn't slotted by position. In the past few years players with big money demands often get passed down to teams that can afford them. Teams that sign big-time free agents forfeit their first-round pick. The pick goes to the team that lost the free agent.

Oh yeah, the draft is 50 rounds long.

The rules on draft eligibility are strange as well. High-schoolers are eligible. Graduates of two-year junior or community colleges are eligible. Major college players, though, must be three years out of high school, just like in the NFL. Just imagine the scouting involved. Every high school, community college, and major college needs to be watched. There's no wonder that information is scarce.

Besides, drafted players go directly to a team's minor league system. Most teams have six levels in their minor league system. There are two short-season 'rookie' leagues for first-year (sometimes second) players. There are two levels of A ball, then AA and AAA. Top prospects can bypass one or more of these levels, but most major-leaguers have played in them all.

So a high-school draftee could spend a year at every level before getting the major-league call-up and still be only 24 years old. By that time the player could have been traded a couple of times as well. Where and when a player was drafted then becomes irrelevant.

Don't expect to see dozens of no-thought draft grades to appear in major publications. While the average NFL draft takes about three years to earn a true grade, in baseball it's more like five years. The names are unknown today and forgotten except for the die-hards until a player makes The Show.

The White Sox are 40-19. This is the first time they've been 20 games over .500 since the end of the 2000 season. White Sox fans (and almost nobody else) remember how that turned out. Frank Thomas hit a 440-foot shot, his second of the season. I'll bet batting practice, or just hitting against Rockies pitching, is a lot of fun at Coors Field.

Retire at 31?

This is the time of year when NFL free agents start to think about life after football. Recent salary cap changes have allowed teams to keep veterans with a ‘cap charge’ of less than the actual veteran minimum to reduce the number of rookies taking vets’ jobs. At the same time, NFL careers are short at best.

I’m thinking about guys like Ken Amato, the long-snapper for the Titans. Amato’s backup last year, Fred Miller, is gone, which would seem like reason to celebrate. Amato’s new backup is Robert Reynolds, a backup linebacker. If Reynolds learns the job well enough, Amato could be gone. There’s not much of a market for a long-snapper who doesn’t do much else.

I bring up this example because this morning I found out that my football career might be over. I know, even if there were an Arena League 6 I wouldn’t crack a roster. I’m talking about our weekly flag-football game. We started the game in 2000, back when I was the young, fast one. While the game is by rule a non-contact sport, there are collisions, and injuries. I’ve suffered minor injuries like a high ankle sprain (that sucker would not go away) to inflamed tissue in my foot. The worst was an accidental elbow to the nose. Nothing was broken but it felt like this.

With these listed downfalls of the game, why would I miss it? It’s a chance for all of us, regardless of our athletic pasts, to feel vital and strong. We get to exorcise our competitive demons. Nothing beats scoring the game-winning touchdown. For a small investment of some flags, belts, orange cones, a couple of footballs, and some cleats, we were in the black.

No one has told me that I need to hang ‘em up, but I know that the day might come very soon. I injured my back about a month ago and as of today it’s still raw and sore. My back, and particularly my spine, are the weak points in my body.

In August of 2001 I was admitted to the emergency room. I was under attack by a massive Staph infection, and Staph was rolling like the old Nebraska wishbone. A pocket of the infection pooled in an abscess inside my spinal column. An undeveloped childhood disease created more space between vertebrae than in most people, and that’s where the Staph built its Death Star inside my body. Surgery cleaned away the abscess, and about a month later the antibiotics had mopped up the rest of the enemy soldiers.

The laminectomy helped to save my life, but at the same time it weakened my spine. Because of that the little injuries like my current back pain are more likely to happen. Activities that put a lot of strain on my back might have to be curtailed. I know, how much pressure can I put on my back with my 12-inch vertical leap? Enough, I suppose.

I know it’s crazy to compare my possible retirement with that of an NFL veteran. I’ve been in the game since 2000, though, and a lot of guys who are soon to be out of the league have not. Other than that, yes, it is a crazy comparison.

I watched my TiVo’d U.S./Costa Rica soccer match in about 80 minutes. It was a home game, but a win is a win for the American squad. I think every Costa Rican within 100 miles of Salt Lake City was at the game. If it weren’t for a few brilliant Kasey Keller saves, the result would have been far different from the 3-0 laugher that it seemed to be. The U.S. plays Panama on Wednesday. Road qualifiers are tough. One more win and the United States side is all but assured a spot in the 2006 World Cup.

Goodbye, Koren

Koren Robinson update: The Seahawks officially released him. It took the Seahawks a lot less time to decide to dump Robinson than it took the press to figure out that K-Rob was issued a DUI.

I'll miss K-Rob, just because he helped me win the AUFL championship in 2002.

It's poker night for me and the boys tonight. Recently we upped the stakes. We used to play for a nickel minimum bet. It's up to a dime. Watch out, World Series of Poker, here we come.

Highlights from the Orange Beach trip: Orange Beach, Alabama is right on the Alabama/Florida border. Alison told friends that we were going to Florida. I don't see the difference. The sand's just as white and the necks are just as red.

On the final evening of our trip we went to an institution called the Florabama club. It, as the name suggests, is located on the border of Florida and Alabama. I think all of the bars are on the Alabama side, but I can’t be sure. We watched a cover band called the Lucky Doggs. Unfortunately the barkeep did not have the ingredients for an Alabama Slammer, so we took a suggestion from the next table and had a round of Bushwhackers. It was sort of like a milkshake, except that instead of ice cream there were approximately eight different kinds of liquor. I had my one and only Bushwhacker and went back to the condo.

One benefit of our condo was that it was very close to the grill. Since we live in a condo community in sunny Buckhead, we can’t have a grill. There’s nothing like a good steak cooked over the coals. I think I had steak each of the three nights we were in Alabama.

Orange Beach, and the surrounding Gulf Coast area, is still torn up from Hurricane Ivan. There are construction cranes everywhere. Who knows, you might even be able to get a deal down there this summer. Just don’t expect to find much in the way of restaurants.

Impulse control

Why do people do stupid things? When a bad behavior is rewarded with a bad result, why does the behavior persist? Are people inclined to suffer?

I had two talented men in mind when I wrote that. Both are NFL players blessed with physical skills that 99% of the world envy. They are flawed men.

The first is Onterrio Smith. When Smith couldn’t pass a drug test at the University of Tennessee the school withdrew his scholarship. Being an athletically gifted man, Smith got a second chance and starred at the University of Oregon. The Minnesota Vikings made him a fourth-round draft selection. Opportunity beckoned in 2004 when starting running back Michael Bennett was injured. All Smith had to do was keep things together and he was a starting running back for an NFL franchise. That promises untold riches. Smith failed a drug test and earned a four-game suspension.

Most NFL and sports fans know about Smith’s most recent issues. Why did Smith decide to go to such elaborate means to elude a positive drug test? Naturally he didn’t want to get caught. He never thought that the easier thing to do would be to quit using banned substances.

Koren Robinson entered 2004 on the verge of stardom. The 24-year-old averaged more than 70 receptions a year in the past two seasons. One more such season would surely lead Robinson to a contract extension worth eight figures. Robinson missed six games last year, four for violating the league’s substance abuse policy and two from the team for the same violation. Robinson was in a league-sponsored alcohol-abuse rehabilitation program and seemed to be doing OK.

Earlier this month, Robinson’s demons got the better of him. Maybe he heard the voices telling him that he wasn’t going to amount to his tremendous promise. In any case, he faces the same one-year suspension that Smith earned.

What’s wrong with these guys? They’re just weaker than their impulses. And in both cases it cost them lots of money and possibly a career.