Calm Before the Storm

It will take a miracle for the Titans to re-sign Haynesworth. Such is the thought of Titans fans all too recently blindsided by poor ball control in the divisional playoff game against the Opponent Who Should Not Be Named. The Bucs just released a bunch of veterans to give them a staggering $67 million in cap room. Are they in the market?

I have to say that there are quite a few veterans available at WR. Laveranues Coles was dumped by the Jets. Marvin Harrison was released by the Colts. Drew Bennett, who really lit it up in St. Louis, is a free agent. Could one of those three be the cheaper alternative to Anquan Boldin (draft picks) or TJ Houshmandzadeh (mad cash)?

Hasta La Vista, Haynesworth

Now that Mr. Haynesworth has been approached by Voldemort, aka Dan Snyder, you can kiss his Columbia blue ass goodbye. Snyder has a history of prudent signings that have led to many Redskin championships. He's the only guy, because the Raiders have already overpaid half their roster, left who would be willing to give Haynesworth QB money. Does a QB take 40% of the snaps off? Does a QB miss two to three games a year? Matt Schaub excluded, of course. I'm ready for this pre-free agency period to be over.

I just got my John Sickels Baseball Prospect Book. I haven't bought one in a couple of years, but I felt that I earned it, what with my full-time gig and all. For some reason, I like looking at this alphabetical list of top baseball prospects. It's fun to read because I get to find out again that the White Sox have a crap farm system. There are stories behind every player, which is endlessly fascinating. This year, there are prospects who were born in the 90s. That's somewhat disturbing. I will stop obsessively reading the book long enough to avoid getting divorced.

The Sox do have four B-rated prospects in this year's book, which is better than last year. The Vazquez and Swisher trades added organizational depth.

Missouri beat Colorado last Saturday to move to 23-4. They are officially a top-ten team. The Kansas State, at Kansas, Oklahoma, and at Texas A&M stretch is going to be tough. It's nothing but upside this year.

How Many Dollars for that Free Agent in the Window?

I wonder if there should be two NFLs. Leave one to the Redskins and Raiders so they can overspend their little hearts out and get nothing for it. The Raiders may have overpaid for Nnamdi Asomugha, but he's an elite player. Giving $4 million a year to their punter (insert any punter) is madness. Owners like Al Davis do what they do not because it makes sense to the rest of the league. They do it in part to mess with people. Screw up the salary structure in perhaps the worst year to give a football player eight figures a year. Last year Tommy Kelly, who's very mediocre, got a seven year, $50 million deal. That contract alone is one reason why the Titans slapped Haynesworth with the franchise deal.

They made it almost too easy for Haynesworth to earn his free agent, but that's the past. In the end it makes too much sense for Haynesworth to re-sign with the Titans. That's why Dan Snyder will throw $100 million at him, even though a lot of it will be funny money. I think Haynesworth is worth a big-money deal. Breaking the bank, I'm not sure about that.

The part of the Asomugha deal that no one talks about is that it's short. Think short. If you get a short contract, you can get another one in a few years. For the team there's less of a risk by throwing out a ton of money at the onset of the deal. That's why I think the Titans shouldn't go more than four years with the Haynesworth deal. If he wants $50 million, I can go for that. Make $30 million of that guaranteed. He can't be unhappy with that. Tell him that if he plays hard for four years and actually puts in a full 16 games one year, he'll get another deal close to it. If Haynesworth takes the six-year deal, it will be his last contract.

I noticed that in a Nashville City Paper article that Jeff Fisher insisted that Vince Young wouldn't be part of a Wildcat-esque package. While I agree that Young needs to prepare this offseason like he's going to be the starter in 2009, he would be the ideal player for such a package. An attitude adjustment is necessary for sure, and I have a feeling that even if Collins comes back that he's likely to start a few games. It's too early to throw Vince Young out, and the team owes him too much money anyway.

Who Are These Guys?

I just finished watching my TiVo Guy Movie of the Week: Butch Cassidy and the Sundance Kid. The most prevalent line is my title for the evening. This title refers to the long arm of the law that followed Robert Redford and Paul Newman for most of the 123 minute running time of the film. It also refers to the insane asylum running KLSX, the LA-based radio station that just fired Adam Carolla.

I first heard Mr. Carolla's voice on Loveline. It played late at night in my early 20s and sometimes I would listen. He was the hamburger you wrap around the pill so your dog will take it. Dr. Drew, his sidekick, was the pill. Carolla moved on to better gigs, like Crank Yankers on Comedy Central and writing for the Jimmy Kimmel Show when his own talk show failed to register an audience. He found his niche on radio with his ranting, raving, and making inappropriate jokes for four hours a morning. Minus commercials it might have been more like three.

He took over for Howard Stern. I enjoyed Private Parts, but I never laughed while listening to the show, which was prominent in my now cancelled Sirius radio. I guess the ratings wouldn't make it.

Some will say that Carolla is crass and goes for the easy juvenile humor. I concur. He's still funny, and genuine, and when he says that he's going to continue his podcast, unpaid, starting next week, I believe him. He truly believes that if you love doing something, you would do it even if you're not getting paid. Don't forget that he's still getting paid for the rest of the year, per his contract, so he can afford to work for nothing for a while. Podcasting is huge and maybe he'll make something of it. I know I will be listening.

OK, back to sports.

And here I thought the NFL pre-free agency period was going to be boring. The Chargers made a statement by franchising Darren Sproles. And Sproles may have been the first player in history (non kicker) to call being franchised “an honor”. It might have been that 600% salary bump.

The Titans smartly extended Rob Bironas. Three million a year is a lot for a kicker, unless you’re a Titan fan with memories of Al Del Greco. Heck, Bironas missed a long but makeable kick in the playoff game that would have at least sent the game into overtime.

Albert Haynesworth is going to test the free agent market. I think it’s 50/50 that he gives the Titans the right to match or exceed any offer he gets. The Titans have offered something in the range of 4 years, $36 million. Think two more years and double the money. Do the Bucs or Falcons have the money to pull this off? Haynesworth says that he wants to play for a winning franchise. We'll see if he's all about the bucks.

Will the Titans franchise Bo Scaife? It's likely at this point. Unless Craig Stevens makes major strides in the offseason, they need Scaife’s ability to make plays downfield and not fumble when the ball is inside the ten yard line. If the Titans decide to let Scaife go and draft Missouri’s Chase Coffman in the second round, I would be cool with that. Coffman will be this year’s Dustin Keller.

There are three Titans older than me. One is Tyrone Poole, who most certainly will not be with the team next year. Heck, Kerry Collins might be the only one left come opening day 2009.

Zach on music

I recently finished a 45-day musical odyssey, ironically enough on Valentine's Day. When the year started, I made a personal goal more interesting than exercising or the usual nonsense that people promise on January 1 and forget by January 10. I decided to listen to the entire musical contents of my iPod in alphabetical order by song. I got the idea from a VH1 Classic video marathon that ran the same day as the NFL Wild Card games. The first song was "ABC" by the Pipettes and the final song, skipping due to defects in the source CD, was "50 Seasons" by the Jesus Lizard.

While a disproportionate number of the songs are by They Might Be Giants and Blue Rodeo, I rediscovered some of my lost classics. Car Wheels on a Gravel Road by Lucinda Williams is fantastic songwriting. Who can't smile while listening to a power-pop gem by the Mr. T Experience? I found out that half of George Harrison's solo debut All Things Must Pass could be passed right off my iPod.

I was a little sad when my list was over, but I got to realize my goal. I got to buy new music. I downloaded CDs from the nines and The Tories, respectively. Power pop lives forever on my machine.

Free Agency ain't so free

Free agency has stared in the zealots leagues. You think that it will be easy to avoid the spending spree since these are final-roster-spot type of players. Then you end up bidding 4100 zbucks for Danny Ware. Ware is the fourth-string running back for the New York Giants. He was a stud at Georgia in his freshman season then he dropped down the depth chart before entering the draft after his junior year. He's been on practice squads ever since.

Derrick Ward and Brandon Jacobs, the Giants' double 1000-yard rushers, are both free agents, so the situation is worth watching. Ahmad Bradshaw is most likely first in line for touches if one or both guys leave. Ward's only potentially useful in case of injury. When you start three running backs, or more accurately, can start three running backs, even these guys have potential. Ware has two career carries for 15 yards.

Missouri avenged an early season loss at Nebraska by pounding the Cornhuskers 70-47 yesterday. This looks like a 25-win team, and no Missouri team has done as well since the 1995 team that went undefeated in conference play and got a number one seed in the dance. After playing Colorado next Saturday, they have a three-game stretch against Kansas State, Kansas, and Oklahoma.

Win one, Mizzou?

Tonight I am multitasking, as I am wont to do. I’m watching Missouri/Kansas, which was a 2-2 barnburner five minutes into the game. It’s slightly more offensive at the ten minute mark. Kansas is winning and Missouri is playing a bit sloppy.

A-Rod cheated. Whoopty freaking do. You were a moron if you didn’t use steroids in the early 00s. There were no tests, and when there were, it was time to quit. It will be hard to tell who was using and who wasn’t when it’s time to analyze the era. All I know is this should do nothing but help Frank Thomas’s case when he’s up for the Hall. I think he’s going to retire a la Mike Piazza last year when he realized that no one was going to sign him.

I spent most of my evening organizing z34’s free agency. There are a lot of steps to take. I have to get the threads set up, organize the player lists, remind the three owners who haven’t posted their players that they have one day, release the players tomorrow morning, and start the auction process. At some point I need to make sure that our finances are in order. All this for a group of players of which Daunte Culpepper is near the top in terms of value.

It’s 22-13 Kansas. I’ve seen this game before. Is Missouri an empty 20-4? I have no idea, but my heart says yes. Missouri hasn’t been to the Big Dance in four years, so getting in and winning a game will be huge. I still will get more excited to see the Missouri football team beat Southeast Cupcake State next fall.

I have never heard anyone curse at the TV as consistently and creatively as my wife does when she’s playing Mario Kart on Wii. I yell at the TV when I play but she takes it to the next level. I’ve found that getting the gold medals was way easier on the Wii at my parents’ house.

Missouri’s football team could score more than the basketball team. They have 16 points in the final minute of the first half. Jacking up three pointers hasn’t worked all half.

I come back an hour later after digging through the free agent dirt to see that Missouri has moved within three. If they could make a free throw they’d be ahead. It’s suddenly interesting.

Kansas sure has a history of ugly white centers. Greg Ostertag is the all-time Hall of Famer in that category.

Down by three, Missouri makes one of two free throws. They just can’t make two in a row.

Now with 65 seconds to go, Missouri gets a tie ball and possession. Have they had the lead tonight? Come on, let’s win one for the football team’s disaster. Missouri makes the field goal and Kansas calls one of their 52 time outs.

Kansas makes a shot and there are 23.5 seconds left. There weren't tenths of a second when I was in school. It feels so high tech yet it's not.

Eat it, Kansas. That was fun. I might have to watch another game some time.

Only as good as your last blog

This is my 300th blog. Pop the cork on some Metamucil for me, folks. I wrote my first blog on March 24, 2005. It was on the controversial subject of fantasy football > fantasy football. I still think it's a better game, but football is such a more superior product, so in the end it doesn't matter. If someone told me that NASCAR was clearly the best sporting product out there, I still wouldn't want to watch.

In slightly less than four years, I have been triumphant in two fantasy baseball leagues and one fantasy football league (albeit twice). Maybe I'm better when I am less plugged in.

OK, let's talk about what's going on in the overhyped world of sports:

Could people stop caring about whether Michael Phelps smoked a doobie? Seriously, the government is currently deciding how to spend about a trillion dollars of our own money. This is the same government who tried to push about $300 billion under the couch cushions, thinking correctly that we wouldn't notice.

The White Sox very quietly signed Bartolo Colon. He's kind of like CC Sabathia, except eight inches shorter (just as heavy, though) and about seven years older. The Sox have Mark Buerhle, Gavin Floyd and Jon Danks as sure things in the rotation. Colon made seven starts with the Red Sox last year, so we have no idea how he'll do this year. Depending on two unknowns to catch fire like Floyd and Danks did last year is unlikely to work, but it's still way too early to panic.

Missouri signed a big-time defensive tackle, which means that he must be from St. Louis. I'm fascinated at how big a deal college Signing Day, especially when we learned last year that players didn't have to sign until much later. The team has gone from two QBs named Chase to two QBs named Blaine. Either a true freshman or a redshirt freshman will be under center, I mean not under center, for the opener in September. LSU and Alabama are vying for the mythical recruiting national title, and if you're on pins and needles about that one, you might be a moron.

My new favorite place to get Titan news says that the men in Columbia Blue are far apart in negotiations with Albert Haynesworth and Kerry Collins. Haynesworth remains priority one. They have until February 27 to sign him before free agency opens up.

You know it's fantasy football dynasty league free agency time when you're deciding whether to put Selvin Young or Kalimba Edwards out there. The latest two trades in my league were Antonio Pittman for Jason Wright, and Mason Crosby for a 5th round rookie pick. If you're making deals like that in your fantasy league, you might want to have a drink with an LSU or Alabama alum tonight.

It's been a fun 300 episodes, and I'll keep doing this until everybody in the world has two blogs. By then I'll probably have 300.

World Champs

Collins got the MVP trophy and the new Cadillac, but a lot of guys deserved the award.

Chris Johnson, who after the game admitted that every hit on his sore right ankle felt like glass cutting him. He only had 13 touches, but on each one he ran with the kind of burst and power that Titan fans have seen all year.

Bo Scaife, who caught the floating duck tossed by Craig Hentrich on the fake field goal attempt. Scaife had to break four tackles to get the first down. It was his only catch of the game, and he never made a more important one in his life.

LenDale White, who as usual had a poor yards per carry but scored the all-important first touchdown after the very un-Fisher like fake field goal.

Justin Gage, who caught the 78-yard post pattern, outleaping the gazelle-like Dominique Rogers-Cromartie. With that catch, he was the all-time Titan leader in Super Bowl receiving yards.

Keith Bulluck, the almost forgotten Titan who snuck in front of Boldin on that slant pattern to steal an almost certain touchdown at the end of the first half. Sure, it would have been more cinematic for him to score a TD on the last play of the first half, but what linebacker is returning an interception 100 yards?

Albert Haynesworth, who made himself another ten million after breaking the double-team and crushing Warner to make the game-clinching sack.

This is how my team wins the Super Bowl. They take a 20-point lead heading into the fourth quarter and almost blow it. It's never easy.

I almost forgot the players who made key contributions in the games leading up to the Super Bowl.

In the fourth quarter of an intense Divisional playoff game against the hated Ravens, Alge Crumpler fumbled the ball inside the ten-yard line, which should have been a certain Raven recovery. As the ball squirted out, he managed to get a fingertip out and redirect the ball out of bounds. Thanks in part to a Ray Lewis holding penalty in the end zone, LenDale got four shots from the one yard line. About three inches of the ball crossed the plane of the goal line on the final play.

With Chris Johnson out in the AFC Championship game with his high ankle sprain, we witnessed the second Music City Miracle. Chris Henry, he of a whopping three rushing yards all year, entered the game after White bruised his ribs in the first quarter. None of us can forget the sight of Troy Polamalu, that white-shirted blur, rushing past Henry as he sprinted down the sideline for the first of his two scores. White returned for the clincher in the fourth quarter. The Super Bowl bid was ours. Collins was efficient and made no mistakes. Haynesworth and Kyle Vanden Bosch showed that their rust was gone when they crushed Roethlisberger on a third-quarter sack. Big Ben didn't return to the game.

For two weeks it was a fait accompli that the Titans would beat the Cardinals. Over those excruciating 14 days, the tide seemed to turn and by kickoff, half of America thought that the Cardinals would shock the world. Bulluck's interception seemed to end that thought. Gage's second touchdown that made the score 34-14 seemed to confirm that. Cortland Finnegan had quieted Larry Fitzgerald. That was soon to change. When the former Pitt star bolted through the defense, making the score 34-28 with less than eight minutes to go, panic set in.

I polished off the wine from the night before in the morning, just to calm my nerves. Someone popped the cork on my third bottle of Trader Joe's Vintage Ale around kickoff. I tried to slow down, but the football gods made it hard to put down the bottle. On third and eight, when a first down meant that the clock would go under six minutes, Collins threw a screen to Ahmad Hall. Why the fullback was in the game at that time was beyond me. Warner would get the ball back with plenty of time, 77 yards away. On third and ten, Haynesworth would not be denied. I was petrified that the flag-happy refs would call some kind of roughing penalty. The hit was clean, and when the fourth-down pass hit the ground we were four LenDale White rushes away from the victory formation.

It could have happened in another world, in another time. I would be so hung over.

The Bowl

I'll put this as succinctly as possible. The Steelers should roll the Cardinals. If they don't, fans of the black and gold could be more despondent when a QB named Neil O'Donnell tarnished their Super Bowl legacy. It's rare when a team plays out of their minds for four games in a row. Maybe the Cardinals team that got crushed by Philly and New England was a mirage. I think they're still in there somewhere.

The Steelers should put a beatdown on the Cardinals. Kurt Warner's going to see pressure from all angles, and I don't expect a lot of Edgerrin James. The only way they're going to be able to move the ball is if Larry Fitzgerald becomes even more dominant than he's been to date. And while the Pittsburgh offensive attack is no juggernaut, I think Big Ben can make a few plays, Hines Ward or no Hines Ward. Perhaps Willie Parker will break a huge run like he did in Super Bowl 40.

I'm with Peter King on one thing. Let's drop the Roman numerals. America's getting collectively dumber as the numbers go up. Let's not make it hard to translate.

The offseason begins with free agency in two fantasy leagues. We get to keep 40 players, so it's not like the cuts are going to be too deep. All I worry about is whether I'm dropping this year's Mewelde Moore. You never know with running backs when each team can start three.

My prediction: This will be a lot like the Rams/Steelers Super Bowl. The Cardinals will make a few plays but the Steelers will pull away and win by double digits. That's probably good since the game won't end until about 11 p.m. Eastern Time.