Fear the Manginos

There are times when a fan has to wonder what is tougher, being a professional or college coach. College coaches have to worry about players going to class, and the limited practice time they have. For the NFL coach, it's life. For a college coach, it's close, but there are times to relax.

There were a couple of small coaching moves that helped cost Missouri the game against the Fighting Manginos, as Kansas's team is known. It was fairly obvious at the end of the game that neither defense was going to make the big stop. When Missouri trailed 26-10, the offense scored touchdowns on their next four possessions. The defense held until Missouri had a lead. Then Todd Reesing, who made Chase Daniel look tall, started making plays. Kansas scored five touchdowns, and on every score, their receiver was beyond the last Missouri defender. On the final score, Missouri pulled off a poorly executed blitz. Reesing made one move and Kerry Meier, a backup freaking QB, got behind the defense. He wasn't open by two steps. He was open by five yards.

Here are the two spots at the end of the game where a "professional" coach would have done things differently. Missouri had the ball inside the ten yard line with two minutes to go. Derrick Washington scored on an inside handoff. He scored really easily. The shark move would have been to run some clock. Send Daniel on a QB draw, which would have been less likely to score but more likely to run another 45 seconds off. It was first down. They could have scored in the following three downs. When the Tigers got the ball back with 19 seconds left around the 40-yard line, I wasn't too confident. But Daniel hit Jared Perry for a huge gain to the Kansas 35. There were 11 seconds left and Missouri had two time outs left. Instead of calling a timeout, they spiked the ball. It only cost a second, but there were only ten of them left. When Danario Alexander dropped the next pass, there was no choice but to go for the field goal. Jeff Wolfert could have made the kick on a normal day, but it was a snowy, wet day. Missouri needed to get another ten to fifteen yards to have a chance to make that kick.

Even if the game went into overtime, I don't know if they would have pulled off the victory. I would have liked to have the chance.

Gary Pinkel got another raise this year, and it raises expectations. Going 9-3 would have been great three years ago. This team was destined for more. I do not look forward to next week's game against Texas or Oklahoma. I think the offense gives the team a chance, although if Maclin and Coffman are hobbled in any way there will be trouble.

A Most Agreeable Holiday

We were 0 for 3 on contested games yesterday. The closest of the three was a game in which the Seattle Seahawks didn't score a touchdown. The prime-time game demonstrated what a playoffs with the Cardinals will look like.

The opening game, of course, was the most fun Titans game I've watched in a while. There was no doubt for a second who was going to win. The only minor suspense was whether LenDale and Chris would both get 100-yard games. The defense stepped up, the offensive line blew open holes for the first time in a month, and the team scored nine times. Has the franchise ever scored nine times in a game?

Much will be made of Vince Young's cameo. He looked good in a brief appearance. Let's remember two things. It was the Lions. His 54-yard pass to Ahmad Hall on third and one was a great play call. The ball traveled maybe two yards in the air. He had another completion called back due to penalty.

At this point in the year, it's simple. Keep winning and sew up home-field advantage. The Titans need one more win or one Colt loss to win the division. That's one home game. While the Thanksgiving game in Detroit seemed like a tough assingment at the start of the season, it ended up being like a second bye week. That will be crucial in December. Next up is Derek Anderson and the Browns.

Now I will discuss the day of feasting at the Don Funk Sports grill. There was no grill activity and that was fine. We watched the first half and ate at halftime. While I made the mashed potatoes and took sole responsibility of drinking the beer, the wives were the MVPs. There were two different types of turkey, potatoes, mac and cheese, rice casserole, squash casserole, rolls, and probably two or three more things that I can't remember. My one culinary mistake was drinking a Cosendonk Brown Ale during the meal. A heavy beverage of any kind does not go well with calorie nirvana.

I watched every moment of the second half with glee while Don was bored. We napped, as America and the Seahawks did, during the first half of the second game. We're looking at a possible Giants/Cowboys second-round playoff game rematch, and if Marion Barber and DeMarcus Ware are healthy, it should be a good one.

The pumpkin gooey cake following my mid-afternoon coma almost led to coma number two. We probably made enough food to feed ten. So there are no worries about figuring out what to eat this weekend. It's a little strange that there were three football games on Thursday and we'll have the same situation on Sunday. I'll make it, somehow.

Thanks to Zealots' strange kicker scoring (3 points per kick and .1 bonus point for every yard above 30), Rob Bironas scored 22.8 points yesterday. It's good to start a must-win game with 63 points from your first three players.

When You Think Thanksgiving, You Think...

For most people, the first association with Thanksgiving is food. For me it's secondary. It was always about the football. Even when I didn't care much about watching the sport on TV, I liked playing in the family Thanksgiving game. I have an aunt and uncle who live in Baton Rouge. We'd rotate every year, and "Red Stick was where we had our most memorable contests. The lot next to their house was empty, and made a perfect field. We initially divvied up teams by age. My dad drafted my older cousin and me and my uncle got my older brother and my younger cousin.

We played three on three semi-touch (will explain later) with my uncle and dad as all-time QBs and no rush. I don't remember the plays being too complicated. I do remember that we were the victorious team every year. We'd play and when we were done we would come inside, watch the early game in Detroit and eat at halftime. I'm not sure if we showered.

My younger cousin Josh was the target of a lot of abuse in these games. I would match up against him, and at the time I was around 12 and he was 7. Talk about a mismatch. He was fast and managed to get open a lot. Here was the problem. He'd catch a pass and maybe get past me, but when my dad got into the picture, suddenly the game wasn't touch anymore. It was tackle. My dad was in decent shape in those days. I'd say that he had 100 pounds on Josh. He'd tackle Josh, and sometimes the rest of us would pile on. Josh would start crying and we'd have to talk him into continuing. The next time he caught the ball, he'd get pummeled again. Sometimes even my uncle, who was on his team, would join the pile.

In our final matchup, we played family versus family. With a couple of outsiders, we were playing four on four. My uncle, who was a turnover machine on par with the present Daunte Culpepper, became Terry Bradshaw. Both of my cousins were very good athletes, and we got smoked. The following year we didn't play and no one talked much about it. Now everyone has their own family so we don't even get together for the holidays. I'm thinking that there will be a reunion soon.

We also were big on the 80s video games. I remember in particular the Ice Hockey game on the original Nintendo system. I was the best player, and boasted that I would never lose. It came down to a shootout with Josh, and I lost. I never heard the end of that. I'm going to track down that game and upload it to my parent's Wii, because it was the most fun hockey game I ever played until the Sega game where you could start fights and make the other guy bleed.

Other than Cortland Finnegan versus Calvin Johnson, there isn't a matchup in today's game that worries me. Imagine Johnson on a team with a capable QB.

Titan worries

Is it really time for the obsessed Titan fan to worry? I know that not every team that has started 10-0 has made the Super Bowl, let alone a playoff game. The 2003 Chiefs lost against the Colts. The 2005 Colts were 13-0 and lost a memorable game to the Steelers in their first and only playoff game. In fact until two years ago the Colts seemed to start 10-0 every year only to fade at the end.

The Titans aren't strong in the middle of the offensive line, as Marc Faletti of Footballguys.com keeps saying on their podcast. They've also been lucky, with the worst opposing field goal percentage, as Aaron Schatz of Footballoutsiders.com mentioned in his podcast appearance with the Sports Guy. Thanks, Bill, for mentioning that the Titans may have peaked too soon.

How do they turn it around? Playing the Lions will help. We won't learn much about the Titans in the next three weeks. I do agree with Schatz that the playoffs will be all about matchups. Peyton Manning and the Colts will be a tough matchup. While a game against the Ravens would be a slugfest, I like the defense versus Joe Flacco. Ditto the Steelers, although their run game isn't so good.

It's still a little early to project. Having the Lions tomorrow is like having a 70 degree day in December. You relish every moment. I may be in a food coma for the second half, but I'll have to soldier through. This game will not be on NFL Replay.

Enjoy your Thanksgiving, faithful readers. I will be at the Don Funk Sports Bar (and grill, although the grill will stay cold tomorrow).

One More Thing - Brad Smith versus Pat White

It has been reported that Pat White of West Virginia beat Brad Smith's all-time college rushing record for a QB. I will pause for a comparison before attempting to call this record bunk.

Last year, Kevin Smith was on the verge of "breaking" Barry Sanders' all-time single-season rushing record. Kevin Smith did not break the record, finishing with 2,567 yards to Sanders' 2,628. Here's the problem with this comparison. Barry Sanders played 11 games. Smith played 14. Not only that, Sanders' "official" stats don't include the 222 yards rushing he gained in the Holiday Bowl against Wyoming.

Strange note from the 1988 season: Barry Sanders was in Tokyo when he won the Heisman Trophy. The Oklahoma State Cowboys finished their regular season with a 45-42 win over Texas Tech in Japan. Remember when Japan was going to buy the United States?

Back when Brad Smith played, the 12-game schedule was not set in stone. Therefore, he played 48 games in four years. Missouri went to two bowls in his four years at starter, which partially explains why I was not a great fan of Gary Pinkel in his early years. Pat White has played 13 games each year at West Virginia, so it's hard to compare them evenly.

I had to go to Pat White's ESPN player page to get my answers. Although his team played 13 games a year (and will do so again this year), White has missed three games due to injury. Brad Smith played in all 48 games of his career (take that, White!).

In brief, Smith got his 4289 career rushing yards in 48 games, while White has played in 46 games so far for his 4292 yards. So White legitimately owns the record. Plus he has 163 fewer career carries, so he gets more bang for his buck.

What vindicates me (slightly) is that Brad Smith (it's cool that ESPN has these stats easily available) threw for 8799 yards in his career while White has 5433 career passing yards and is unlikely to bridge the distance in three weeks. White has 98 total touchdowns (46 rushing, 52 passing). Smith had 101 (56 passing, 45 rushing). White might take that one.

In any case, these are two of the top college quarterbacks of all-time, rushing or otherwise. While Smith has made a mark in the NFL, and thanks to the Wildcat formation he's getting a few touches at QB this year. Pat White will get a shot at the NFL level because of Smith.

These numbers make what Chase Daniel has done to follow Smith even more impressive. Daniel backed up Smith in his freshman year. So in three years of starting and some mop-up duty as a freshman, Daniel has one more career TD than Smith. Daniel has 12,597 career yards to Smith's 13,088, and three games to make up the difference.

While I have been convinced that the 2008 Daniel is inferior to the 2007 Daniel, I see that I am mistaken. He is completing 76.5 percent of his passes compared to 68.2 last year. So while he's not going to New York for the Heisman Trophy ceremony this year, he hasn't been a bust.

College Scenarios

Can we agree that the BCS is set up for one good game and a pile of crap otherwise? No one's going to be compelled by Cincinnati/Boston College, or an Oregon State/Penn State rematch. If Boise State and Ball State finish undefeated and do not get a BCS bid, the bowls should be shuffled so the teams can play each other. Move the eighth ACC team from the Humanitarian to the Motor City to play whoever's the seventh or eighth best team in the Big Ten. I know letting the champ of these smaller conferences play an also-ran in the big conferences should be a good matchup, but it's not that compelling. Remember when Tulane was undefeated and had to play BYU in their bowl game? Even when Utah got their chance, they played a mediocre (by BCS standards) Pitt team when an undefeated Auburn was available.

I know a playoff is currently unlikely, but can we at least get some good bowl matchups? Texas Tech could finish 11-1 and play 8-4 (at best) Mississippi.

One more thing before I move on: The two teams that got BCS bowl bids over Missouri, and the two BCS teams that Missouri beat (a good sign you don't deserve to be a BCS team) are 11-12 this year. Kansas should finish 6-6 and get a nice pre-Christmas bowl bid. It's sad that Gary Pinkel needed his second raise in two years to get more money than Mark Mangino.

It's fantasy time. I am a few what-ifs from having three out of four playoff teams. My college team is done, although there is a consolation game during bowl season that could help my 2009 draft slot slightly. In z17 I will defend my title. I need to win and have the Vikings lose to get a first-round playoff bye. In z34 I need to win and have one of two teams lose to get a playoff spot. I'll either be the wild card or a division champ and play that week if it happens. In this league, my "top" wideout is Bernard Berrian, so I am scouring the waiver wire big-time.

It's either win or accept that the season is close to the end. No way, dude.

Farve'd

One day ago, the Titans were the best team in the NFL. Now they are the forgotten former undefeated team. In Week 13 of the 1999 Super Bowl season, the Titans lost 41-14 to the Ravens. That was a good time to have a team's worst loss of the year. In the following year, the Titans lost three games by a total of seven points. This team finished December by giving up three points in the final three games of the season. Talk about going into the playoffs hot. The Ravens crushed 'em 24-10.

What does yesterday's game mean? It means, most literally, that the undefeated dream is gone. Good. I can't imagine what the Patriots went through with "Pursuit of Perfection" talk starting in October. Funny how it finally caught up to them at the worst time.

It wasn't the blowout quite like the media has portrayed. The game started like a 2007 game, in that the offense struggled and the defense made timely plays. Two first-half turnovers that in previous games would have led to points, led to nothing. The Titans had one fourth down situation at the 36-yard line. It was a ten-point game at the time. Instead of the long field goal or the gutsy go-for-it call, Fisher opted to punt. Here comes the 16-yard punt, I thought.

Even though the Jets dominated the time of possession and yardage, a last-minute drive cut the lead to seven. Big deal, the Titans have been down by more. An eight-minute drive led to a field goal. This was the defense's final stand. The offense had to produce. Chris Johnson fumbled and the defense ran out of answers. Even though there was a flicker of life when the Titans cut the lead to 27-13, the defense was too worn down and a couple of iffy pass interference penalties put the game away.

Luckily, no one gets a ring for winning a game in November. The Titans have the semi-bye week in Detroit then a nice ten-day period before facing the nearly dead Browns and Texans in consecutive weeks. The Titans have some work to do. The interior OL has not blocked well of late. Kris Jenkins was a dominant force. Even so, there was a lack of faith in the run game before the score got out of hand. Football beat writers praise the QB who distributes the ball to a lot of receivers. Favre gave everyone plenty of touches; Collins must have thrown the most droppable ball in NFL history, because everyone dropped a pass or two in the early going. It was one of those "everything goes wrong" games, but there is time to regroup.

Peter King put the Jets ahead of the Titans on his Fine Fifteen this week. Which loss is less defendable, the Giants going to Cleveland (where the Texans just won) and losing by 21, or the Titans losing by the same score at home to an 8-3 team? I'm just sayin'. Guess what, the Titans still have the inside track to the top seed in the playoffs and would have to finish 2-4 in their last six to even have a chance of losing that spot.

Of course I won all my fantasy games this week. It's the strange fantasy/real karma that has not received as much scientific study as it deserves. My 2-9 AUFL squad is winning by 47 points with Donald Driver to play. My opponent and father, pulling a Darth Vader in Return of the Jedi, needs Drew Brees and Deuce McAllister to score a ton. I have an outside shot at a bye in z17, and in z34 I'm 6-6 but the 7-5 team in front of the for the wild card has the tiebreaker. It's not looking good. At least the first round rookie pick I traded for is going to be as high as number two. It's way too early to project but I'm thinking that LeSean McCoy or Chris Wells could end up in my lap. That's good because the Denver mess and Warrick Dunn won't save me for one more year.

There's nothing more depressing than Detroit on Thanksgiving Day. Daunte Culpepper is the best get-well gift for a team suddenly looking mortal. I would like to see Chris Johnson getting the turkey leg or whatever they give for the early game.

In 2003 when the Titans finished 12-4, they were crushed by the Colts 33-7 in week two.

Time to give in?

The Titans are 10-0, and ESPN finally started putting a Pursuit of Perfection spot on their ticker. I immediately dismiss any comparisons to the Patriots. The Pats had won three Super Bowls and lost in the AFC Championship game the season before going almost undefeated. They went from a blah franchise to a national one and were already on people's minds before deciding not to lose. Plus, the Pats were crushing opponents, at least in the first half of the season. In their first eight games, the closest finish was a 17-point win against the Browns. They played things closer to the vest in the second half, winning half of those games by less than a touchdown. It was more interesting.

While the Titans still have a tendency to play games close, they haven't been in as many nail biters as in the last couple of years. Four of their ten games have been decided by a touchdown or less. One went to overtime, something the Patriots avoided last year.

The last four games have been particularly tough. The Colts led 14-6 in the second half before the Titans scored 25 straight points. The Packers kicked a lot of short field goals. The Bears were on the Titans' side of the field on the final drive. The Jaguars led 14-3 at the half. In each game, the Titans made a big play. What distinguishes this team from last year's squad is that both sides of the ball are making the plays. Kerry Collins' numbers at a glance last week weren't stellar, but it was the individual deep throws to Justin Gage that stood out.

There's a point where you have to give in. When Missouri was ranked number one heading into the Big 12 Championship game, I didn't enjoy it for a second. I knew that Missouri would be Missouri. They lost to a very good Oklahoma team. There was no shame in that. The difference in this Titans team is that they size up each opponent and find a way to win.

What distinguishes a good season from an all-timer is those key plays in each game. It's David Ball overpowering an offensive tackle to get to David Garrard. It's Collins audibling to a go route when the coverage changed, and Gage deciding not to drop the ball for once. It's LenDale White refusing to be tackled inside the five yard line.

I'm fired up about this team, but I'm a little nervous about going all in. If the Titans win today, it's pretty much Super Bowl or bust. There's a lot of pressure attached to that, as all Patriots fans know. There are too many weeks left, and too many bad things can happen. How does the team react if Collins is hurt and Vince Young has to play? Will the injuries on defense cost the team? Last week against the Jags doesn't count, they don't really have an offensive line.

There aren't any more trials by fire that the team hasn't faced. Game-winning touchdown drive on the road? Check. Overcoming a double-digit deficit on the road to win? Check. Having a team shut down your running game and being forced to pass? Check. Defeating your nemesis to reclaim the division? Check.

I don't think the Football Gods have enough of a sense of humor to match up an undefeated Titan team with the Giants. I would be fine with the Titans losing to the Browns, say, and going with that. The key is to remember that the top two seeds in the playoffs more likely than not get to the Super Bowl. We have seen two teams win three road playoff games in the past three years, and the Colts had to win one road playoff game on their journey. How about we go back to the 80s when the top seeds cruised to the big game?

The Titans have played three playoff home games in their Nashville history. I missed the Music City Miracle because my cousin was getting married. The Ravens game in 2000 will haunt me forever. The crazy Steelers overtime game nearly put a lot of us in the hospital. Am I sure that I know what I'm getting into by asking for more this January?

At some point I will go all in, but for today, let me enjoy watching the Jets get knocked down a peg or two. That's all I'm looking for.

Time to Step It Up

Enough with the footwear talk. It's time to get serious, people. We are getting complacent because we are in the middle of the "most wonderful time of the year." The time is coming to a close, and we should recognize sooner rather than later.

TV is making it tough to maintain a relationship and be an informed football fan. I was OK with Saturday, Sunday, and Monday nights dedicated to the cause. This week there was a critical matchup between Ball State and Central Michigan. Thursday night had yet another shakeup game in the ACC between Georgia Tech and Miami and the Bengals/Steelers snow fest. I don't know about the rest of you, but Marvin Lewis should have been fired on the spot for going for a field goal when his team was inside the ten yard line, down by 13, and in the fourth quarter. Margin of victory does not keep you in a coaching job.

I blame CMU's "Vegas gold" jerseys for their defeat in Wednesday night's showdown. Does anyone think that color is a good look? I hope that old gold makes a comeback in the next decade. At least the Steeler were smart enough to choose a more traditional third jersey. The teams that have the ugliest third jerseys, like the Rams, Vikings, and Saints, haven't been racking up the wins of late.

Before I went on an all too familiar tangent, I was about to make a point. As football fans, we are constantly assaulted in all directions. On the positive side, we get to discuss the fates of our teams with like-minded co-workers and friends. On the negative side, the anti-footballers constantly wonder when the season is over, or in some cases, ask if it has started yet. We have to unite. In many fantasy football leagues, there are three weeks left in the regular season.

In my college league, I've already lost in the playoffs. It's kind of ironic that a college fantasy league has playoffs when the real deal continues to refuse. With a new nine-figure deal from ESPN to continue the BCS (minus the Rose Bowl), I don't blame them. It may take a Constitutional Amendment to get a playoff rolling, and don't think that Obama won't consider it.

It's week eleven in the NFL. We are two weeks beyond the hated bye weeks. Fans of the Lions, Bengals, Chiefs, Raiders, and most of the NFC West are already counting down to the draft. To those fans, I say, pick another team. I can do the math; there are 111 regular-season games left. That may seem like a lot, but as of Monday morning, we're under 100 games to go. This is the time when your off-season training regimen kicks in. It's time to drink that extra beer, eat that extra pound of cheese dip, and indulge in another dozen wings. Exercise while you're watching the East-West Shrine game in February. While the NFL Network likes to pound into us that there is no offseason, I completely disagree. There is a non-playing season, and its length is why we must cherish the playing season.

That's why I continue to fret over my 2-8 fantasy team. Unlike some professional teams, my fantasy team is going to lose playing hard every week. LaDainian Tomlinson doesn't score his weekly 11 points by going half-speed. Some would say he's been going half-speed all year.

By the way, the Titans bandwagon is full. I'm talking to you, Deion. You don't get to jump on board after ten wins. I don't think so. I would have let you on after eight. I'm a considerate kind of guy. And while the rest of the world has been lulled to sleep by two turnover-free games by the Great Favre, I predict a key interception coming up this Sunday. The NFL's all-time leader in pick-sixes (and I refuse to look this up, just trust me) will strike again.

I wondered what college football was missing last week, and I thought of it. There was no oh-my-God matchup in the Big 12. There have been only half a dozen of these games in the league, all but one featuring teams from the South division, over the past two months. Tomorrow night's game is Oklahoma/Texas Tech, and I'm ready. The winner most likely gets Missouri. Everyone saying that the SEC is superior, answer me this: Has the SEC had two games as compelling as Oklahoma/Texas, Texas/Texas Tech, Oklahoma State/Missouri, Texas Tech/Oklahoma State, and Oklahoma State/Texas this year? I thought not. The fact that Notre Dame, provided they win their last two games (which they will not), might get a Cotton Bowl bid at 8-4 over an SEC team, says plenty. The Cotton Bowl might feature a matchup more lopsided than last year's Missouri/Arkansas laugher since the weakest of the Oklahoma/Texas/Texas Tech trio will be invited.

Oh yeah, when the dust settles, the top rookie RB from that Arkansas team that Missouri so thoroughly stomped is going to be fullback Peyton Hillis. Who could have predicted that? Felix Jones quietly went on IR and Darren McFadden hasn't been heard from in a while. Right now it's McFadden 47, Jones 43, and Hillis 40 in my local league.

Foot minus the ball

I interrupt this streamiest of the stream of conscious blogs for a commentary on. . . shoes.

I get to find out the true die hards out of my readership tonight. We're going to delve into my relationship with shoes. I will do it by telling embarrassing stories about myself that are exclusively shoe-related.

When I was a young boy, Velcro had just been introduced to the breathless public. It was the decade of parachute pants, leggings, and Velcro. How anyone looks back at that decade with nostalgia is beyond me. Velcro shoes came at a perfect time for me, because it meant I didn't have to learn to tie my shoes until I was older. We're talking double digits older.

In high school I wore tennis shoes, and this was when they actually were called tennis shoes. I did not wear any kind of boots unless there was snow on the ground or dress shoes unless it was a prom (rented, doesn't count) or some other kind of dance. I was a guy.

In college I finally broke down and got one pair of boots. I wore these as my "going out" shoes so much over a three-year period that the leather, or whatever imitation leather it was, had worn almost completely off the heel. It was time for young Zach Law to buy a new pair.

Zach Law bought another pair of boots. They were forest green. They were, as the kids said five years ago, fugly. I didn't care if the boots didn't match the rest of my ensemble. I wore 'em down just like the last pair. The day before my family went on a European vacation, the word was to pack light, like one backpack full for the entire week. I complied, bringing only my green boots. The rest of the family, of course, brought extra baggage and by the end of the trip my boots had walked halfway across France and I smelled like a Parisian.

On the first date with my now-wife, I wore a pair of trendy John Fluevogs. I ordered them online, and they were too big, and my late 20s self didn't want to be inconvenienced by sending them back, so I just wore extra socks. This story follows me to today.

I either embarrassed or enhanced my manliness by purchasing not one, not two, but three pairs of work/casual shoes yesterday. There was not a tennis shoe to be found. Not only that, I got complements from the wife. I now own more shoes than I have sports jerseys, if you count each shoe individually.

The true "man" question is this: If I know things about fashion, does that leave less room in my brain for sports knowledge? Will I forget key items like the name of the backup QB for Central Michigan's football team? Damn, I forgot it!

Stupid zapatas.

Shout outs

It's Monday, so I am contractually obligated to mention the Don Funk Sports Grill. To date I had not survived the complete early and late game slate at the Grill. The Titans had a 4:15 date with the Jags (I won't spoil the ending here, sorry), so I was in for the entire day. I had a good game plan. I hit two beers in the first half of the first game and spent part of the second in nap pose.

The Titans game started poorly. There wasn't much of a sense of urgency. Collins hit Gage deep, but the ball stayed in the air so long that Gage practically fair-caught it. At least he caught it. The drive ended with an interception. MJD had his way and scored two touchdowns. It was 14-3 and I was mildly depressed. That's when I got a pep talk from the wife. She told me that the Titans weren't going to win with my crappy attitude. While my mental turnaround had nothing to do with the team's reversal of fortune in the second half, I like to think that it did.

Remember how the Colts took a 14-6 lead and the Titans rallied to score the next 25 points? That has been the theme this year. When the Titans need a defensive stop or a score this year, they get it. Collins rallied them to two touchdowns in no time, and the defensive line harrassed David Garrard all half. Due to injuries kick returner Chris Carr played a lot of corner. Naturally, he got a key interception. David Ball, who didn't play in the NFL last year, got an important sack. After I clearly pointed out that Collins only had six passing TDs all year, he threw three.

Who worries me, among the possible playoff participants? Nobody. This team has stepped up every week and I believe that it will continue to do so for the next six, and hopefully nine, games. The Giants would be a tough matchup, but I believe that the defense, at full strength, is up to the task of the three-headed monster that is the Giant running game.

I just finished Rich Eisen's Total Access. The book should be subtitled "I have the best job in the world." Rich stays on the positive for the entire book, and I think that was the right tone to hit. I enjoyed reading about Rich's injuries sustained during some of NFL Network's shoots, including a sprained shoulder suffered during a tackling demonstration and a pulled hamstring as he ran a 40-yard dash at the combine in his suit. Of course he pulled the hammy not on one stunt, but on his third attempt. I could imagine the wife having a few words with him and little sympathy after that fiasco.

Eisen spoke glowingly about everyone, including Ray Lewis, who is my football nemesis. I don't care if Lewis taught Eisen to tackle, or was an incredible guest host. I will never stop loathing the "I love me some me" attitude and the less than conciliatory attitude he had about his brush with the law. It seems that every time I'm watching a highlights show, Lewis is getting taken to task. Ahmad Bradshaw, the third string running back for the Giants, juked him in the open field. Every time the Ravens gave up a big run yesterday, Lewis was nowhere to be found. I think he's more talk than walk these days.

It was nice to see LenDale White, who has taken a lesser role of late, getting the kill the clock carries. The Titans cannot become a one-man rushing attack. They're going to need a lot of White.

Speaking of running backs, what happened to Chris Henry? Has he been active for one game this year? I've seen a bit of Quinton Ganther, but no Henry.

Here's my random complaint of the day. I have a new iPod nano, and listen to it a ridiculous amount of time. The connectors are the same as every other iPod. Why doesn't it charge when it's in my Bose player? It makes no sense that a newer version of the hardware would be incompatible.

Of course I lost again in the AUFL. By 40+ points this time.

My musical obsession: "Wonderful Life" by the Tories. I can't get enough of Jellyfish-esque power pop. For some reason most of these type of bands either disband after two releases or never hit it big time. What do these bands lack that a popular band like All-American Rejects has, besides a lack of overproduction?

I will end by noting that after every touchdown or score by the Packers, and there were a lot of them, sorry Don, the PA system played Todd Rundgren's "Bang the Drum All Day." That is noteworthy because it's my dad's fantasy theme song, and that a song about not working seems like a strange choice to fire up a Midwestern crowd.

Missouri, Missou-rah

Missouri clinched its second consecutive Big 12 North title. Does this mean I need to stop making fun of Gary Pinkel's coaching ability? I suppose so, but I will not stop fun of him wearing a visor 24/7, including at night in a game when it probably was in the 30s. Missouri has defeated their Big 12 North opponents by 142 points this year, and we haven't gotten to Kansas yet.

Speaking of Kansas, can we call them one-year wonders yet? I feel bad for their Big 12 South gauntlet of Texas Tech, Oklahoma, and Texas. Still, they lost to South Florida, who just lost their fourth Big East game yesterday by 33. Nebraska took them out. Can we finally admit for history that the selection of Kansas over Missouri for the Orange Bowl was one of the worst BCS decisions ever? OK. I feel better.

6-6 is exactly what the fighting Manginos deserve. Have fun playing Nevada in the Who Gives a Crap Bowl.

I don't know if there ever has been as much divisional discrepancy as there has between the Big 12 North and South. I think Baylor could finish third in the Big 12 North. They did lose to Nebraska. Speaking of falling from grace, Nebraska fans are going to be beyond thrilled to finish 8-4 this year. Between 1969 and 2001, Nebraska won at least nine games a year. The team will have to win out to win nine games this year. At least they're not Michigan.

I guess I was spoiled by last season and games like the 69-21 spanking of Nevada. Chase Daniel threw a ball behind his receiver and was intercepted. He was saved by a roughing the passer penalty. Later, a tipped ball was intercepted. While Daniel is going to break his school record for touchdown passes this year, the interceptions have been a lot more plentiful. He's going from Second Team All American to Big 12 Honorable Mention.

It's possible that Missouri will top last season's school-record of 558 points in next week's game against Kansas. Maybe the offense isn't so bad after all. In the four years I attended Missouri, the team scored 813 points. This year they should score more than 600. The Big 12 title game will be rough, but they're looking at a juggernaut like Cal or Arizona (both currently 6-4) in the Holiday Bowl, which is the likely destination even if the Big 12 gets two teams in the BCS. Who knows, maybe one of them will be Missouri. Watch, though, if Missouri wins the Big 12 title game, the loser will be passed over for a BCS game in favor of a team that the South champ defeated. Sound familiar?

Vanderbilt got a timely roughing the QB call to help them defeat Kentucky 31-24 last night to "clinch" their first bowl bid in 26 years. They were the BCS school with the longest bowl drought by 16 years. I'm actually amazed when a defender hits a QB after he releases the ball and there isn't a penalty.

Troy was ahead of LSU 31-3 late in the third quarter last night. LSU scored 37 straight points to win. Still, I wouldn't be popping any champagne.

It's Tennessee/Jacksonville this afternoon. My parents already got their playoff tickets. It sure seems early with seven games to go and nine weeks until a potential divisional matchup. The AFC Playbook guys picked the Titans. It's about time they got on the bandwagon. VandenBosch and Jason Jones are out, so the lack of depth could be an issue. Matt Forte ran pretty well in the first half last week then the Titans shut him down. What the heck. I'll have to pace myself to stay awake for the 4:15 start at the Don Funk Sports Bar.

Friends who care

I have recently come to a deep truth about friendship. If you just met someone who is your friend, and instead of immediately finding out the things you had in common, therefore why you are friends, but found out the troubling details, the so-called dark side, you might not want to be friends. It made me think that I couldn't be friends with someone if one of their core beliefs did not mesh. The truth is that friends are friends sometimes despite some of their less likeable traits. Heck, my wife knows about my obsession with sports, fantasy sports, and football (aka my precious), and she still loves me.

Maybe that was more of a shallow truth about friendship, or a truth that I am shallow. Anyhow, I was reminded a few minutes ago about the core of what makes our local fantasy football league great. One of our league-mates has started referring to Brett Favre as BRETT LORENZO FAVRE. Favre is a unique player in the league, in that he is revered as the perfection as quarterback, at least by a lot of the commentators, when his flaws are all too obvious. I looked back at his recent playoff appearences. Against the Giants last year, he threw the interception in overtime that all but gave the game to the Giants. Against the Eagles in overtime, he threw an interception so dumb that Vince Young would have said "dude, what were you thinking!" In a divisional matchup with the Rams, he threw six interceptions.

Favre is currently smelling like roses after leading the Jets to an impressive overtime win over the Patriots. The Pats D in particular had a strange game. In the first quarter the D couldn't get the Jets off the field. They were almost relieved when Washington returned that kickoff for a TD because that meant the offense had another chance. From the middle of the second quarter until the middle of the fourth quarter, the defense could do no wrong. When the Pats finally tied the game, the Jets had the clutch long drive. The Vrabel hold on third and goal was a bit fishy, I'll admit. Still, even if the flag didn't fall, the Jets would have kicked a field goal and the Pats probably would have tied. I don't see the Pats going for fourth and one at the 16 if it's a three point game.

That fourth-down play was legendary. It was funny to watch the replay from Moss's angle, because all he did was sit down in the end zone, put his hand up, then fend off the cornerback with one hand while fighting for the ball with the other. That's a classic big receiver moment, and it salvaged Moss's fantasy day. It also gave Cassel the second best fantasy day of the season.

Matt Cassel made himself maybe $20 million last night. He's going to be a free agent, and quarterbacks barely make free agency unless it's because they aren't very good. I smell a Matt Schaub like deal, with possible Schaub-esque results. The Chiefs, Vikings, 49ers, and probably half a dozen teams will be interested. You know Pats fans are going to be extra nervous, like right before Super Bowl XX, next fall when it's time for Brady to return.

There was a controversy that only my one friend could remember regarding Favre (yeah, we're back to that). He stated that no one but our Commish, the die-hard Pats fan, could say that Favre was a penalty shot draft pick after last night's game. To remind the audience of four, a penalty shot is a shot of liquor given to anyone for any reason. Supposedly there is a penalty, although like Mike Vrabel's infraction last night, some times the reason is nebulous. I commented back, since my team is 2-8, that I should have gotten a penalty shot for every draft pick I made. He responded that he was printing that e-mail and would have it for next year's draft.

These are my friends. They tend to remember when I wish they would forget.

Freedom, horrible freedom

Instead of being productive while the wife is out on a "friend date," I will eat pizza and type for my audience of three. I will shout out to Steve, who joined me for lunch today and the fantastic House of Chan. Steve reads my blog even though hiis interest in sports is on par with my interest in Joni Mitchell.

When you're in the middle of a financial panic, or a stroke of bad luck, you try anything to break out of it. The Detroit Lions signed Daunte Culpepper, who was allegedly retired, as their quarterback and started him five days later. This qualifies as a "hail mary pass." I will always have a soft spot for Culpepper since he gave me my last fantasy championship in my local league. This was the team that was one New England Patriotesque championship game choke from being the league's first dynasty. I must have angered the fantasy football gods, because I can't pick the right starter to save my life.

I started Steve Breaston in the middle of a five-week stretch in which he averaged 13 points a week. The one week I started him, he scored three points. I started Willis McGahee twice when he was an active scratch and benched him on his two good weeks for the year. I traded for LaDainian Tomlinson not realizing that a big salad fork is sticking out of his, or his offensive line's back. Last week was the first time since the crazy Favre six-TD game that I started the top scoring QB on my roster. It's maddening and overthinking the situation means that I'm going to screw up again until the season's over.

Few 2-8 teams get that way by losing every week by two points. I have lost my last three contests by an average of more than 20 points. My last three opponents have been the third, third, and highest scoring teams in the week. Perhaps that ends this week with a team starting Tyler Thigpen. I'm actually jealous. My opponent has an 8-2 record, best in the league. I have scored more points than my opponent. I will likely lose again when Ray Rice runs for 200 yards and LT2 spends have the game on the bench.

My college fantasy team will have to open the playoffs without its top player. Michael Crabtree of Texas Tech is on a bye. In most leagues finding a starter on the waiver wire is a bad thing. In a college league, it's a weekly phenomenon. I'm also missing a RB from Army and the kicker for Michigan State. Yep, I just spent ten minutes researching a college kicker.

The true meaning of failure

I'm going to take a stab at comparing fantasy football failure to real football failure. I am in four fantasy leagues, and in each league I am in at least my fourth year in the league. That means I am well aware of the rules and regulations. I lost in these four leagues by an average of 46 points. My closest margin of defeat: 24 points. In two of the four leagues I will be in the playoffs and in one I have a good shot if I win out. In the final league, a league I've been in since 2000, I have the worst record at 2-8. One of the 3-7 teams has scored 23 points per game less than me. Of course that final part is bitterness, not failure.

Here's real failure. On Friday night I took a test for my Web certification. I took the class in August, so it had been a while. Unlike my HTML and CSS class, this was a proprietary class so I couldn't google most of the answers. I tried on Friday and scored less than 50 percent. After spending the entire night studying and thinking of ways to extend the class time, I took the test again the following morning. I finished two answers short of passage. I was in the pit of despair. I was a Lions fan. In order to take the test again, I would have to audit the class.

As fate had it, the class was happening on the same day. I pushed out and beseeched the teacher to let me audit. He let me audit the class. To my surprise, I found out that the class materials have changed since I took the class. The test was based on the new materials. Feeling better about myself, I got my test counter reset on Monday night. In my third attempt, I passed the test.

I was able to overcome despite feeling like death for a few hours. It helped that I was distracted by the Titans and a waterfall of beer on Sunday. Does this mean my fantasy teams could rebound? Not necessarily. One loss isn't the end of the world. People can move on. Even Lions fans.

Zach is Back

It's Sports Monday in full effect. While the week without sports was a success, I don't think I want to ignore sports full time. At least not while they are going well.

The Don Funk Sports Bar became the Sexy Rexy Hate Club by 3:30 p.m. Sunday afternoon. Mr. Grossman led the Bears to an early touchdown but struggled to move the team the rest of the day. As a Titans fan, I still can't get over my team being perfect. Note that this is not the Patriots circa the first half of 2007. They're not even the pull every other game out by the skin of their teeth Patriots of the second half of 2008. They are an entirely different beast.

The Bears, as most good defenses have done lately, sold out to stop the run. The Titans, showing a shocking lack of stubbornness by moving away from the run fairly quickly. They must have seen that the Bears are 30th in the NFL in pass defense. Receivers were open early and often, and besides Justin Gage, everything catchable was caught. Brandon Jones has been particularly solid lately, and even rookie Lavelle Hawkins makes the occasional catch.

It was a shock when, making the perfect call on fourth and one, Ahmad Hall didn't even hold the ball before fumbling it away. It was one of those plays that would have been shown again and again had the Titans lost. Luckily, the defense kept giving the offense good field position until they had no choice but to score.

Last year the Titans were the first playoff team in ages to throw for fewer than ten touchdown passes. This year, it looked like they might do it again. Collins threw for two yesterday, giving him five for the year and six for the team (Vince Young's singular contribution).

As usual, it's appropriate to bring up that the Bears were 40-something yards from tying the game with a backup QB. The Jaguars will be extra keyed up to avenge their season-opening loss, or their loss to the Bengals, or the one against Pittsburgh, or the Browns, or Buffalo. I forget. Interesting stat: Last week's game was the first time a Jags game was decided by more than seven points.

I don't want the first loss to be against a division opponent. Then again, I don't want the first loss to be ever. One loss could remind the team that every win requires a lot of plays to go perfectly right.

Missouri beat Kansas State in a very boring blackout affair. Chase Daniel has become a bit interception-prone. That's OK because chief division rival Kansas lost to Nebraska (insert Nelson Muntz Ha Ha) to all but clinch the division for Missouri. A win against Iowa State (something that used to be less assured) would about do it. I want Missouri to win ten games again this year. It's likely that the South champ, be it Oklahoma, Texas Tech, or Texas, will make mincemeat out the Tigers. The defense tends to play really well every other week and just short of embarrassing at times. The Oklahoma-Texas Tech game in two weeks could be epic.

Near trades are happening as baseball's free agency begins. Wake me when it's over.

Zach without sports day five: The upside of humiliation

I think to truly feel like a human, you must have one humiliating experience per day. Mine for November 7, 2008: I was about to leave the company restroom when the next guy entering pushed the door open extra wide to let me sneak out without the indignity of touching the door. I put my foot out to catch the door, missed, lost my balanced and smashed my elbow into the door jam. I limped out and had to walk down the hall so I could quietly laugh at myself and simultaneously wait for the feeling to go back into my arm.

Car update: The wife has fixed her car issues and we are a two-car family again. This is good since I have discovered some new podcasts. I will listen to the Loveline reunion of AC and Dr. Drew on the way home from work.

Humiliation part two: I failed my first Web test. It's tough when you take a test on a subject that is a little more vague like "Starting and Running a Successful Website." I needed 75% to pass and did not make 50%. I have to get over my failure issues and find a way to make it right. It doesn't help that the study materials are from 2005, my notes are incomplete and I took the class in August.

Zach without sports day four: The one-car family

My wife brought up the concept of us being a one-car family a few weeks ago. Apparently the car gods heard her. She now is without car and we ride together to work in the morning. When I say “ride together” I mean she puts on sweats and goes home with my car, since she runs her own marketing business.

I like my alone time, and the commute to work is usually spent with me catching up on podcasts. Seriously, what other time do I have to listen to Adam Carolla drunkenly interview Hugh Hefner at the Playboy mansion for the second time this year? Or I could listen to Rachel Maddow make fun of Sarah Palin for another hour.

There is a fundamental difference between the wife and me in that I like to listen to podcasts or music while I drive whereas she prefers to listen to nothing for long stretches of time. She is also fine with the Coffee House on Sirius. There’s nothing less comforting than listening to nothing for my 25-minute commute. So what do we do? We’re forced to talk to each other.

We used to set aside dinner as a time when we’d get to the kitchen table, assuming there was enough room for us to put our plates, and talk. Lately we’ve been catching up on TiVo more often than not. Now we get to talk, which is a good thing. We’re both semi-employed for the moment so we are both more stressed than usual. The wife isn’t sure if she wants to work for herself forever. One of us has to get a full-time job eventually.

I don’t know if I’m so hot on my car getting at least double the miles every day, but for now I’m enjoying the change.

Zach without Sports Day 3: I Can't Enjoy Anything

I’ve gotten to the point where I am not sure that I can enjoy anything. Even though I promised not to write about sports this week, I have to mention my favorite team to make a point. The Titans are 8-0, and clearly frontrunners for home-field advantage in the AFC. When I read a stat that said that of the past five teams to start at least 8-0, only two won the Super Bowl, I felt relaxed, like my feeling that something bad is about to happen is justified. It’s kind of nutty.

That’s how I feel about last night’s historical Presidential election. I was on the Obama bandwagon early after I listened to his book on CD. This was his first book, written to cover the time period before he went to Harvard Law School. Between that and his inspiring speech at the 2004 Democratic Convention, I was sold. He was the late-round sleeper who developed into a stud.

I can’t totally relax and enjoy the victory. I’m waiting for some kind of electoral malfeasance to come up, or for someone to pinch me and tell me that it was all a dream. It’s a natural defense mechanism, especially since the current president is still running the show until January 20, or two days after the Titans may be on their way to the Super Bowl. Hey, I’m not perfect.

Last night was truly a historical moment, but the deep-seated sarcasm and cynicism won out. The moment I recall is Jesse Jackson with tears in his eyes. The first thing that my fast-twitch brain picked up was Jackson calling Obama out on an open mic during a commercial for a TV appearance. Last night was beyond petty squabbling, and I hadn’t totally grasped that.

It’s a key time for the nation, but it’s not a deal-breaker if things get flubbed up. After all, that’s what nations do. The cynical side of me felt that the election reinforced that perception is reality. At the same time, the unfiltered side realized that it’s OK to really want something to happen. Because some times it does.

Zach Without Sports Day 2: Election Day

Before I start, should it really be called Election Day anymore? In 2000 we had to wait weeks before determining the President. In 2004 we weren’t completely sure of who would be president until the following morning. I’m just saying.
At least in Georgia, I noticed that kids have no school today, yet most employed folks had to sneak out of work to vote. They do realize that kids don’t vote, right?

I got in line to vote at 6:40 and left the polling place at 8:40. The decision to wait until Election Day was sound. There were about 100 people ahead of us in the line. We live in a condo complex next door to the old folk’s home that is the polling location. The doors opened at 7 and we moved near the front. There is a long hallway leading to the polling room. It’s maybe half the size of our entire condominium. There were maybe eight people working there. Two were in crowd control. Three ladies took our voting forms and checked ID. Another two ladies took our IDs and forms again and issued the yellow voting cards. The crowd-control guys thought it would be a good idea to cram everyone into this room, creating three lines. The room wasn’t air-conditioned and the maintenance staff wouldn’t arrive until 9. I wore three layers and nearly broke into a sweat.

While I spent countless hours looking into the Presidential candidates, I knew next to nothing, and in some cases literally nothing, about the local candidates. There were long lists of judicial nominees, and I wondered how the nominee got the higher spot on the computerized screen, because from what I know about usability, people read from the top down. I finished voting in record time and waited for A to complete her ballot. We went home and I headed to work an hour later. The line was nonexistent by that time.

My career numbers in Presidential voting are 2-2. Does that remind anyone else of my fantasy teams’ performance so far this year? Here’s hoping that I push above .500 today.

Zach without Sports

After another week of mixed fantasy results, I wondered: What would my life be without sports? Do I have enough interests outside of sports to interest my small readership? We will find out this week. I'm going to write about everything but sports the next seven days. Yeah, I may make it easy by not posting every day.

Tomorrow, I will wake up early to vote. That's all I'm going to say about the election.

I initially started this blog to combine my love of sports and writing. I know it's hard to believe, but most of my writing has nothing at all to do with sports. The first novel I wrote in college did not mention sports once. When I went back and edited the novel, I made the main character a sports reporter and highlighted the other main character's allegiance to the Pittsburgh Steelers.

I, like most first novelists, based characters on myself. Most writers only do this with one character. I took the serious, Journalism major, somewhat antisocial side and created the female lead Traci. Now that I think about it, the "i" at the end is kind of silly. I took the (former) accounting major side and my outgoing self who only comes out once in a blue moon and created Tom.

On a cool fall night, Tom and Traci are on a date. The date goes fine until a masked man comes out of the bushes and shoots Tom. The rest of the novel is standard thriller boilerplate, with the couple falling in love while a mysterious stranger gets more and more violent until the story is concluded.

I was 20 when I started writing Infatuation. I am now 34. Wondering why you haven't seen this novel on amazon.com? It hasn't been published. I made a few feeble attempts at publication, and last year re-worked the book as an attempt at closure. I've even written stories about Tom in present day. Traci isn't with us anymore.

The idea for the first chapter of the book came to me while I was working at a Little Ceasar's Pizza. I got home late that night and wrote for a couple of hours. I wrote the book during the first semester of my junior year of college. It's funny that the final part of the book that I wrote was the second chapter, set in a hospital. Now I have plenty of personal experience to flesh that out.

I miss the days when inspiration for book and story ideas seemed to pop up all the time. Now I'm full of life experience but short on "eureka" moments. When I wrote this book, part of the inspiration to continue was that I hadn't worked out how it was going to end. I wrote longhand on the back of a reporter's notebook and later transferred the copy to my roommate's Mac. The benefit of writing longhand the first time was that when I typed the words out later, I could make adjustments on the fly.

I have the 14th anniversary "director's cut" of the novel on a jump drive. Some day I'm going to serialize it on my web site. Then it will be free, and I can move on to future inspiration.

Focus on the Real

I'm not thrilled at Missouri's three-point win at Baylor this weekend. The Titans have played better than in today's overtime win. They still won. I need to focus on these "real" results rather than my fantasy ones, because those are terrible.

I lost my first "showdown" game in KCFA3. My Missouri-filled team lost by 71 points. The team I'm playing next week scored more than the team that beat me this week. Feel the pain.

In the AUFL, I'm 2-7. I picked up Ray Rice at the last minute but started Willis McGahee instead. That really cost me. I also picked up Steve Breaston and started him over the rejuvenated (for one week) Donald Driver. So I will have Matt Forte and LaDainian Tomlinson, likely top-five running backs when the season's over, and finish 9th at best. How I can not make the playoffs four years in a row is a mystery.

Missouri is getting the Big 12 North gift-wrapped to them and they barely beat the worst team in the Big 12 South. Hey, a win's a win. Notice the Texas/Texas Tech game as an example of the championship-killing plays that define a season. As Texas Tech drove for the winning score, a deflected pass goes right into a defender's hands. He drops it. Next play, a risky out pattern is caught and Michael Crabtree, instead of going out of bounds to guarantee the winning field goal, breaks a tackle for the winning score. The fans stormed the field not once not twice but three times. It was the best game I've seen this year, and one reason why college football still holds sway over the pro game in many fans' minds.

The Titans didn't have any rhythm on offense today. For the second week in a row, a defense keyed on the run game and mostly shut it down. Still, the defense made plays, holding the Packers to field goals and getting turnovers. The offense got into field goal range at the end of regulation. Jeff Fisher called for the field goal a bit too early in my estimation. Bironas boinked the kick, but in a championship-caliber season, the Titans got another chance. Not only did they make good the second time, the so-called contenders in the AFC South lost key games. The Jags fell a two-point conversion short of the Bengals and the Texans turned the ball over too many times at Minnesota. We're a Patriots win tonight from the Titans having a five-game lead in the division at the halfway point.

Next week will be the tailgating event of the year at the Don Funk Sports Bar. Be prepared.