Freedom, horrible freedom

Instead of being productive while the wife is out on a "friend date," I will eat pizza and type for my audience of three. I will shout out to Steve, who joined me for lunch today and the fantastic House of Chan. Steve reads my blog even though hiis interest in sports is on par with my interest in Joni Mitchell.

When you're in the middle of a financial panic, or a stroke of bad luck, you try anything to break out of it. The Detroit Lions signed Daunte Culpepper, who was allegedly retired, as their quarterback and started him five days later. This qualifies as a "hail mary pass." I will always have a soft spot for Culpepper since he gave me my last fantasy championship in my local league. This was the team that was one New England Patriotesque championship game choke from being the league's first dynasty. I must have angered the fantasy football gods, because I can't pick the right starter to save my life.

I started Steve Breaston in the middle of a five-week stretch in which he averaged 13 points a week. The one week I started him, he scored three points. I started Willis McGahee twice when he was an active scratch and benched him on his two good weeks for the year. I traded for LaDainian Tomlinson not realizing that a big salad fork is sticking out of his, or his offensive line's back. Last week was the first time since the crazy Favre six-TD game that I started the top scoring QB on my roster. It's maddening and overthinking the situation means that I'm going to screw up again until the season's over.

Few 2-8 teams get that way by losing every week by two points. I have lost my last three contests by an average of more than 20 points. My last three opponents have been the third, third, and highest scoring teams in the week. Perhaps that ends this week with a team starting Tyler Thigpen. I'm actually jealous. My opponent has an 8-2 record, best in the league. I have scored more points than my opponent. I will likely lose again when Ray Rice runs for 200 yards and LT2 spends have the game on the bench.

My college fantasy team will have to open the playoffs without its top player. Michael Crabtree of Texas Tech is on a bye. In most leagues finding a starter on the waiver wire is a bad thing. In a college league, it's a weekly phenomenon. I'm also missing a RB from Army and the kicker for Michigan State. Yep, I just spent ten minutes researching a college kicker.