Epitaph

On Monday two of my favorite teams called it quits for the year.

The Chicago White Sox were eliminated when they got rocked by Cleveland 14-1. The collapse was firmly established well before the game started. What was extra disappointing was Jon Garland's implosion. He was the only White Sox pitcher with consistent stuff during the second half. Giving up 12 runs (8 earned) in five innings is pretty rough.

What went wrong? Here are the 2005 and 2006 ERAs. Mark Buerhle: 3.12, 4.99; Jose Contreras: 3.61, 4.27; Jon Garland: 3.5, 4.61; Freddy Garcia: 3.87, 4.65; Javy Vazquez: 4.42, 4.77.

In the bullpen, Cliff Politte fell apart and Neil Cotts was far less effective. Bobby Jenks was fine as closer but leads all too often disappeared before he could appear.

On offense, Brian Anderson was Aaron Rowand's equal defensively (and health-wisee) but needed a second-half surge to hit .230. Scott Podsednik proved that his only major-league tool, speed, means nothing if he can't get on base. The Dye, Konerko, Thome, and Crede offensive combination was hard to beat. That's 147 home runs. A.J. Pierzynski had a career offensive year, although he's still a defensive liability. Juan Uribe went backward.

The team filled most of their holes through free agency this year, and the same might be true for 2007. Brandon McCarthy is ready for a rotation slot. Trading one of the excess starters for a leadoff hitter would be a good idea. Rookie Ryan Sweeney may get a shot in left field. He's not a power hitter, but youth should be an upgrade from Pods. Thanks for the playoff dingers. Bye.

I'm not going to look for the exact numbers here. The Sox had a sizeable cushion over the Twins at the All-Star break and it all fell apart. They played slightly below .500 the rest of the year. The shine has come off Mr. Guillen a bit, but you can't ignore the ring. Despite the fact that I can put the cheesy World Series DVD on whenever I want, this year reeks of missed opportunities.

The Titans are less than 1/5 through the season and they're already done. Even if they pulled off the improbable victory against the Fins, they'd still be out of the race. In 2004 injuries decimated the team. In 2005 a salary cap purge and new offense forced the team to play shorthanded. If 2006 needs one goat, it's Floyd Reese. Don't blame Kerry Collins just like you shouldn't blame Tim Allen for all his crappy Disney movies. You know what you're getting from Collins. The right move would have been to sign Collins when the first rumors started percolating. That was around the start of the preseason. Bringing him in after the third preseason game was lunacy. I don't care if you're Tom Brady; you can't pick up an NFL offense in a couple of weeks.

The key to NFL success is in the line play, and both have been terrible for the Titans. I'm not sure what's going on with the running game, but it doesn't matter.

I think that Vince Young shouldn't start until after the bye week. The upcoming three games versus Dallas and at Indy and Washington are going to be tough.

After three weeks, my NFL fantasy teams are 6-6. Joy. I am 4-0 in my college league. Between that and the 4-0 Missouri start, maybe I should forsake the NFL. Honestly, at least 50 1-A teams would be 4-0 with Missouri's schedule. A frisky 0-4 Colorado team will be tough if the Tigers make mistakes like in the New Mexico game.

Titans for Sale

The Titans are currently worth north of $700 million. That's obviously not enough for Bud Adams. When you're an NFL owner, there's no such thing as too much money. It doesn't really matter who you get it from, like the criminals who ran Adelphia Communications into the ground and originally named the Titans' stadium.

I am making no accusations against the new namers of The Coliseum. I'm sure that Louisiana-Pacific, now headquartered in Nashville, is a fine company. Their investment of $2 million per year to name L-P Field (just rolls off the tongue) looks like a good one to date.

I say that because L-P Field was all but tattooed on every Titan fan at the home opener. Lanyards (those necklace thingys that allow you to keep your ticket in pristine condition) declared this the Inaugural Game of L-P Field. I can't wait to tell my grandkitties. Not only that, there was a goofy cartoon featuring L-P Man, who apparently is a roofer, during the third quarter. He fought off evil subcontractors wearing Jets gear. Sadly the subcontractors threw one too many soft but accurate pass and won the day.

I didn't have high expectations going into the Titans opener this year. They sucked last year and didn't give me any impressions of imminent improvement this year. The move of the offseason was signing Kerry Collins ten days before the season opener. See, Billy Volek couldn't pick up the offense during two offseasons, but Collins could cram for a weekend and have it down. So we got to see Volek pout on the sideline as the third QB, and Collins played like the wily veteran who either throws the ball too high or too low, never just right. The one time he was just right was when the ball went right into Ben Troupe's hands. Troupe bobbled the ball twice into the waiting arms of a Jet defender.

My parents have excellent seats in the end zone. Sadly, at least one obnoxious fan of the opposition gets a nearby seat. This time it was Jerry Jet who took himself way too seriously. He did have a nice Vilma jersey, although I think he was more of a Browning Nagle kind of guy.

The team looked like seven kinds of crap for the first three quarters. The only saving grace was Mike Nugent kicking like he had money on the Titans. When the team rallied from a 16-point deficit I was ecstatic. The 25-10 drubbing of the Ravens last year was a single moment of joy in a season of suckage. Maybe this year we'd see a little magic. Sadly the Jets too easily scored the winning points and the Titans ended eight yards short. It was then I realized that other than the Texans, the Titans would play no weaker team this year. Sigh.

I did go 5-0 in fantasy this weekend. The top win was taking my dad out in the AUFL. The key to winning in head to head often comes down to scoring the 10th-most points but playing the team that scores the 12th most. If my dad had stared Drew Bennett, my fantasy nemesis, he would have won. A QB trio of Plummer, Simms, and Carr doesn't help me much.