Fantasy Mediocrity, Served Weekly

I had a couple of fantasy disappointments this weekend. In my college league, I lost by a point. The reason I lost is that one of my starting running backs did not play a down. My team currently has about 30 schools represented, and I can't read newspaper accounts on each one to check the depth chart.

In the AUFL, I lost to my dad by 40 points. Even if I had started my "best" squad, I would have lost by 22. I started Willis McGahee, who like my nameless college guy didn't play a snap. My only good player this week was Matt Forte, who had a nice 21-point debut. The rest of my team scored 38. Santonio Holmes, Chris Cooley and the Giants D did not show up.

In z34, I unofficially won by .06 of a point, the closest game in league history. Upon further review, my opponent had Tom Brady, and according to league rules you can designate a backup QB. If your starter gets hurt, you get the points for your backup starting in the quarter after the starter was injured. He had Philip Rivers and I lost by 25 points.

In z17, where I am the defending champion, I won by 56 points. My efficiency rating was 89.9%, pretty darn good. The key to having a good efficiency rating is having crappy backups. The Marion Barber/Michael Turner RB combo should be good nearly every week.

While I enjoyed my three nights in Nashville, all I did was eat a lot and win a lot of gold medals playing Mario Kart. I'm so glad that I don't have a Wii at home. Don't ask how my parents ended up with a Wii. They're just ahead of the curve.

I'm ready to put my authentic Vince Young red practice jersey on ebay. After yesterday's pouting session and the weird story out of Nashville that police had to track him down last night, I'm ready to punt. Vince has been coddled like no player in franchise history. Those rookie heroics are looking really grainy at this point. A great player lets a mistake roll off his back like water. Vince has to remember that he's on a team, and the pouting isn't a good substitute for leadership.

Still, I can't help watching the this video. I'm going to pour out the first sip of my first Sunday beverage in honor of my fallen Patriot friends.

Don, I'm afraid that you're stalking me. Let me watch some Bengals/Titans action on Sunday and all will be forgiven. It's Kerry Collins time.

I'm going to be ill.