5000 Meters

I say it that way because 5000 meters is more impressive than five kilometers, which puts 3.1 miles to shame. I completed the Hot and Humid 5K in Inman Park near downtown Atlanta in 29 minutes and 27 seconds. Although Atlanta is a relatively flat place, run a few blocks and you are bound to find hills. The worst part about running down hills in the first half of a race is that you're going to have to run up those hills on the way up.

At the beginning I found myself equally paced by a guy pushing a baby stroller. Today's baby strollers are like mini-SUVs. All I could see was one green croc sticking out as the kid had a bumpy ride. I passed stroller guy as we went up a hill but by the halfway point, he left me in the dust. I only finished eleven minutes behind the top performer in the 30-34 age range.

Why do runners have to look like famine victims? The "ideal" runner has no muscle definition in the upper body, although you can see the ribs and spine like Nigel Tufnel's t-shirt in Spinal Tap. Some of the runners avoided the post-race spread because there were carbs. We got out of there before the watermelon seed spitting contest.

Here's my quick ego check.

Defeated by a guy pushing a stroller? Check

Defeated by a 10-year-old? Check

Defeated by multiple women who weigh less than my left leg? Check

Defeated by the oldest woman in the field? Close (she was two minutes behind me)

I may do another race, but not for a couple of weeks.