Off weekend

I know it probably disappointed my audience of three, but I took the weekend off. I was in sunny Gatlinburg, Tennessee. If the Gulf Coast is known as the Redneck Riviera, Gatlinburg is its inland cousin. I fought the urge to visit the Salt and Pepper Shaker and the Dukes of Hazzard Museums. I did partake in another popular sport.

I heard on both of Atlanta’s sports radio stations this morning that Tiger Wood’s chip in on the 16th at the Master’s is going to be remembered as one of the greatest clutch shots in the history of golf. How can you be clutch when there’s no crowd noise? Also, my second shot on the 16th hole of the Pig course of the Old McDonald miniature golf course was just as impressive. OK, my shot lipped out. What are you going to do?

I gathered with a large number of my wife’s friends, many of whom are cursed with working in the TV industry. It’s quite a feat to get so many former colleagues to gather for a couple of days. At 31 I was the second-oldest guy in the bunch. I have to look into any federal legislation as to when you have to give up drinking cheap beer. The Miller Lite went down like Miller Lite. I would have felt like a snob with my Newcastle (best beer I can generally afford), but at least I could taste it.

On Sunday night I witnessed an event as rare as a solar eclipse. The White Sox were featured on Sunday night baseball. Yeah, we got waxed by Johan Santana, but we’re 4-2 after a week. Winning two out of three in the Twinkie Dome is an accomplishment. What I don’t get about the broadcasts is they’re trying to make them like Monday Night football. There was this sidebar on an alternative band that had Bowling in their name. I never heard of the band. They interviewed a member of the group who was wearing about a 6XL-sized Bad News Bears jersey. I want that jersey (a smaller version). Is this some kind of X-Games inspired crap? They play a song by the band and interview a member who never played organized sports past high school, while also showing Sox/Twins highlights. I started to develop a twitch.

I did like how they connected Santana, the first Venezuelan pitcher to win the Cy Young, with Ozzie Guillen, the Sox manager who’s also the first Venezuelan manager in the majors. Santana was dominant and all you can do is tip your cap.

Tonight I’m going to the Braves/Nationals game tonight. I missed a good one when John Smoltz and Pedro Martinez dueled yesterday. There were something like 85 strikeouts in that game. I’ll report from the game for tomorrow’s installment. I know, it’s hard to believe that I’m passing up the opportunity to go to the Atlanta Hawks/Charlotte Bobcats game. I’d rather go to the Salt and Pepper Shaker Museum, honestly.